Chapter One

Chapter One: Wanna Be My Roomie?

"WHAT!?" The blonde ninja shouted, exasperatedly. He pounded his hands on the Hokage's desk, sending a few papers flying in his frustration. "What do you mean I don't have a place to live!? I was only gone six months on that mission!"

Eighteen year old Uzamaki Naruto was in the Hokage's office. Tsunade frowned, biting her pink slicked lower-lip in thought. She combed her matching pink fingernails through her pale, snow-colored hair looking up into the glowing blue eyes of the young boy. "I'm sorry Naruto, but your house was condemned!" Tsunade told him.

"WHY!?" he asked, stamping his feet like a child, too frustrated to act his age.

The snow haired Hokage raised an eyebrow, "Hon, when you went on your mission, you left thirty-two bowls of cooked ramen in an open refrigerator! A group of rodents got into it and ate everything you own. They moved in and shit over everything. It's really nasty, Naruto, you don't want to go there…" She explained, pinching her nose in disgust at the thought.

"Where am I supposed to go!?" he demanded, his voice choked with would-be tears. He folded his arms over his chest and tugged at his sleeves, yanking at the stray fibers.

"I don't know kiddo, why don't you stay with a friend?" Tsunade suggested. She gave him a sympathetic look, her brown eyes full of empathy.

"I CAN'T! Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi are on a mission together!!!" Naruto said, sulkily. The blonde sighed, running his fingers through his hair anxiously as if trying to pull the stress from his follicles. Tsunade watched his behavior with interest. Over the years, Naruto had become a respectable adult. He was much taller than in his youth. His face, no longer round and childish, had elongated and filled out. His body was tough, but sleek and wiry. Though, at that moment, with tears at the corners of his huge, cerulean eyes, Tsunade could've mistaken him for the twelve year old boy she'd met seven years prior.

"Look, Naruto…" Tsunade sighed, brushing a stray piece of hair from her pallor face "Maybe I can help you a bit?"

"R-Really?!" Naruto's pouty face disappeared instantly and was replaced with a look of joy. He clasped his hands together and bounced on the balls of his feet like a small puppy on a sugar high. Had he had a tail, it would've been wagging.

She shuffled through some papers on her desk, scanning their contents, all the while speaking, "I have a list of everyone's living situations. I can tell you a few people who are living by themselves and you can see if they'll let you stay until you find a place of your own." She informed him.

"That sounds great!" Naruto grinned, his eyes crinkling with his smile.

Tsunade returned the smile and continued, "Some shinobi living alone are Inuzaka Kiba, Aburame Shino, Sarutobi Konohamaru, and Nara Shikamaru…" she read the names, yawning slightly. "I know you're familiar with them, as most of them went to the academy with you. I'm not going to give you any girls' names because the thought of you molesting those poor girls in their sleep disgusts me." she sneered at him, obviously baiting him. Naruto, of course, fell for it.

His face reddened with anger and shock. He protested, "HEY!" he shouted exasperatedly, snatching the paper from her hand, "I'm not a fucking perv!" he snarled heatedly.

"Says Jiraiya's protégé…" Tsunade grinned evilly, her chocolate eyes twinkling. She tucked her pale hair behind her ears yet again and winked. "Now get out of here!"

"FINE!" Naruto glowered and stalked out amidst Tsunade's seemingly endless giggles, slamming the door behind him.

When Naruto left, Tsunade peered down at the paper in her hand again. She smiled and questioned aloud, "I do wonder though, how the little twerp would've faired… if he were to room with Sakura or Ino…"

- 0 -

"KIBA! KIBA! YOU MOTHER FUCKER, LET ME IN!"

Naruto stopped pounding as the door opened to reveal Kiba. He leaned casually against the door frame, raising an eyebrow. He was dressed in a black T-Shirt with white lettering that read Dogged and a pair of plaid boxers. His hair was messed up, as if he'd just gotten out of bed. A bowl of cereal was clutched in his right hand. "What do you want?" he asked, derisively.

"I need a place to stay." Naruto pointed at his backpack, which was propped against his foot.

"Forget it."

"PWEASE KIBA-KUN!?" Naruto whined in his cutest voice, widening his sapphire eyes as much as they would go, putting on his best puppy dog pout.

Kiba rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Oh please! I invented the puppy dog pout!" he frowned, shoveling a couple of spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth. Naruto's expression changed in a matter of seconds from a pout to a glare. His brow furrowed and he crossed his arms indignantly.

"Come on, how many times have I bailed that flea-bitten ass of yours out of trouble?" Naruto asked, his tone scathing.

Kiba rolled his eyes and sighed "Fine, just get in…" he snapped. Stepping aside, he allowed Naruto to come into his house. The blonde shimmied around him and walked into the entrance hall. He looked around the house. Naruto nearly gasped.

The house was worse than his! It had the normal features of the bachelor pad: clothes strewn over the furniture, abandoned food containers littering the floor, bad lighting, and obviously broken products that took more effort and money to use than it would be to buy a new one. The thing that threw him off was the dog stuff! Bones, dog toys, cages, leashes, dog beds, bags of dog food… and… business were everywhere!

"Wow…" he whispered, scratching behind his ears.

"I know it's not a fucking suite, Naruto. Deal with it." Kiba scowled. He shoveled some more cereal into his mouth, his thick brow furrowed. He continued to speak, spewing bits of food over Naruto "'Oo can sleepf wif Akamaroo…"

Naruto glowered, wiping spit and the reminance of sugar coated sugar puffs from his face. "The dog!? Are you insane?" he glowered, his face contorting with his obvious distaste. Kiba frowned and placed his cereal bowl on a table, pushing a few pieces of clothing to the floor to make room for it.

"Hey, if you wanna be picky, get the hell out of my house." Kiba placed his hands on his hips and jabbed his thumb towards the door. His brown eyes lowered in a glare, the red marks on his cheeks glowed with annoyance. Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, Kiba was getting pissed and he didn't need to be kicked out.

"Sorry." Naruto apologized, rubbing the back of his head apologetically; wrapping his fingers in his blonde hair "I'll sleep with the dog…" Kiba raised an eyebrow, a sly grin inching across his lips. "I MEAN I'LL SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS THE DOG!" he shouted, trying to cover his blunder. Kiba laughed, his jerky attitude completely forgotten.

"Just throw your shit anywhere," he winked, gesturing around the cluttered apartment, "Akamaru's bed is the one in the corner, Akamaru's out running right now, anyway." He said, indicating its location. Naruto followed his finger to the large dog bed, spotting something that threw him off guard.

"What's that?"

"That'd be Ducky." Kiba smiled, laughing slightly. "It's Akamaru's stuffed duck, and if you value your extremities, I suggest you don't touch it."

"Oh… okay…" Naruto smiled weakly.

"But you can't stay for too long, a couple days, okay? I have to clean up, my family from the Village of the Wind is coming to stay next weekend and my parents want me to keep some of them here." Kiba told him, scratching behind his ears. He looked up at Naruto through his shaggy brown bangs, smiling so his spiked teeth glinted.

Naruto nodded, "That's fine. I'll get out of your hair in a few days. I'm gonna look for my own place." He told him, patting his shoulder lightly. Kiba snorted.

"That's cool. I'm gonna take a shower." Kiba stretched as he spoke, sniffing one of his pits lightly and wrinkling his nose. He clasped his fingers behind his head, his fingers entwined through his hair, elbows pointing upward. Naruto watched as he sidled through the house into a back room that he assumed was the bathroom.

Naruto yawned and looked around. It was then that he realized how tired he was, he threw his bag on the ground and kicked it aside into a random pile of clothing and magazines. He walked over to the empty dog bed, he made sure to avoid the duck as he lay down in a rolled up ball. He folded his hands behind his head in a makeshift pillow. In a few minutes his deep cobalt eyes grew heavy-lidded and he drifted into sleep.

- 0 -

Before he opened his eyes, Naruto knew something was wrong.

An extremely unpleasant smell hit his nostrils and his nose puckered. Still half asleep, he tried to roll over, thinking it was a bad dream, but he couldn't move. He desperately tried to push against the object that was pinning him, preventing his movement and ability to escape from the horrible smell that was filling his nostrils.

He opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with the round pink anus of Akamaru. Naruto nearly screamed and desperately tried to push the huge fluffy dog off of his body, which only served to compress his lungs to a point where he could breath even less than he could with just the horrible odor. "GET OFF AKAMARU! GET OFF!" he screamed desperately.

Akamaru replied with a long, low sounding fart directly into his face. The smell of the gas nearly knocked him out as it filled his nostrils so fully that he could practically taste the disgusting scent.

The scream could be heard across the entire Village of Konoha.

"Naruto what happened? Oh my g-" Kiba shouted. He skidded into the room, soaking wet with a towel wrapped around his waist. He gasped at the sight of the blonde ninja pinned under his huge dog companion, face-to-ass. He wasn't sure if he should laugh at the situation, or pity the poor boy as he took a whiff of the scent in the air. "A-Akamaru! Get off him." he stuttered, biting his lip in an attempt not to laugh.

The giant white dog rolled off Naruto and grabbed his stuffed Duck, trotting over to the couch and laying in front of it, chewing on an old plastic take-out container. Kiba turned to his traumatized friend and smiled sheepishly. "So… um… how long did you say you were going to be staying?"

There were tears at the corners of his eyes, making them shine like sapphires. "I h-hate you so much right now…"

Kiba looked at the boy sitting on his knees in the dog bed, tears in his eyes, biting his lip so hard it was bleeding. He reeked of shit and was ready to cry. Kiba burst out laughing, holding his dripping sides, his hands slipping on his slick waist. "Welcome home Naruto…"

- 0 -

Three days later, Naruto left Kiba's house. He sighed, "Thanks again, dude." He smiled at him. Kiba nodded, winking. Naruto bent down to pat Akamaru on the head, he whimpered, begging him not to leave. "I'll see ya later, buddy. Don't worry, keep an eye on Ducky for me." Akamaru barked in reply.

Naruto sighed, turning his back on Kiba's house and looking down the street. As he walked, he fished a crumpled piece of paper out of his wallet. He read the names on it. Pulling a pen out of his other pocket, he scribbled out the top name on the list.

X Inuzaka Kiba X
Aburame Shino
Sarutobi Konohamaru
Nara Shikamaru

Okay, it seemed like Shino was next. Well, that wasn't too bad. He was quiet and didn't seem like he'd be much trouble. His house would definitely not be as loud as Kiba's. He lived near the south end of Konoha in a small apartment next to a rundown dirty bookstore Jiraiya secretly owned.

Naruto walked up to the brown, oak door. The sign on the mailbox read Aburame, this was it! A few stray bugs crawled around the door bell; one fell off as he pressed it. He heard movement inside as a person rifled through the house to come to the door. Shino opened the door.

The blonde smiled at the quiet boy, waving. His glasses were low on his nose, revealing his questioning brown eyes.  Shino cocked his head to the side, as if to ask, What do you need? Naruto looked at the house behind the brunette, trying to get a feel for the place he was going to be living in.

Behind the teen, the black walls were moving. Naruto wondered if he was tripping for a second, but then he realized that the movement on the walls was millions of bugs. The walls were completely covered in bugs! When he looked down at Shino's feet he saw bugs crawling over the floor and his feet. The boy seemed completely unfazed.

Naruto swallowed his vomit and ran in the opposite direction, leaving Shino standing in the doorway, wondering what he wanted.

- 0 -

"Oh Konohamaru!" a girl's scream shook the small apartment. Naruto covered his ears. AGAIN?! How many times could a sixteen year old go before he got tired?

It had been four days since he'd moved into Konohamaru's apartment and he had gotten absolutely no sleep since doing so. Konohamaru, now sixteen years old, was still the same brash, annoying kid he'd always been. But evidently, since Naruto had seen him last, some of that sexy-no-jutsu had paid off for him because he was quite the ladies' man.

The kid had started dating his teammate, Moegi, and she was constantly spending the night. To put it in laymen's terms, she was a screamer, and though most kids hadn't grasped the term all-night-long in their teens, apparently, Konohamaru had…

"HARDER! HARDER! AHH!"

Naruto rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head. He felt like crying. When would it stop? Why did he have to leave that ramen out!? Why did ramen have to be so good? Why did animals have to get into it? Why couldn't Moegi lose her damn voice?! Why was Konohamaru having sex on a daily basis when he was still a virgin!?

He sighed. Well, it looked like he'd worn out his stay in the apartment. He didn't want to keep mooching off of people. Naruto wanted to find a steady roommate until he had a place. Someone he could live with and not feel like he was intruding.

"YES! Oh baby, yes!"

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He pushed himself up and grabbed his bag. He walked to Konohamaru's bedroom door and knocked on it. No one heard him over the creaking of the bed and Moegi's continuing moans.

Frustrated, he opened the door. Moegi screamed and pulled the covers up over her chest. Konohamaru rolled off her and propped himself up on his elbows. "What are you doing, man?" he fumed.

Naruto sighed. "I'm sorry," he apologized, slamming his hands over his eyes, but spreading his fingers wide enough so that it was extremely conspicuous that he could still see. "I didn't mean to interrupt, but I have to go Konohamaru." He told him, gesturing to the backpack on his shoulder with a jerk of his head.

"Niichan! Don't go!" Konohamaru's anger faded as he scurried to the end of his bed with the same expression he would've worn as a ten year old kid. "Why?"

"I'm gonna go stay with Shikamaru for a few days. There might be an apartment open in his building." Naruto told them, uncovering his eyes and patting the naked boy on the head. "See ya, dude."

"BUT WAIT! Boss, why are you leaving at three in the morning?" the brunette asked, tears at the corners of his dark eyes. Moegi looked slightly depressed as well as she clutched the bedclothes around her body, since she too had admiration for the blonde.

"Um…" Naruto tried to think of a decent excuse, "I have to… um… get an early start because Shikamaru lives on the other side of the village?"

"No he doesn't, he lives a block away." Moegi pouted, puffing out her lower lip. Her orange hair was out of its usual pigtails and she actually looked quite adorable with it encasing her sulking face. He felt a stab of guilt through his gut. But though Naruto felt guilty about leaving on such short notice, he knew he couldn't give in to the adorable expression. He could not live with Konohamaru.

Naruto scratched his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, he probably won't answer the door for a few hours." he told them. They nodded, agreeing. Shikamaru was notorious for leaving people sitting on his doorstep until he was ready to get off his lazy ass and answer the door.

"Well… okay Niichan, but come visit soon." Konohamaru told him, his voice meek. Naruto mussed his head once more before turning to leave the room. He closed the bedroom door behind him and walked out of the apartment.

- 0 -

"SHIIIIKAMAAARUUUU!" Naruto called through the hardwood door. He used his most feminine voice, calling the name like a love struck cheerleader. No answer, he sighed. Shikamaru wouldn't open the door for just any act, even someone shouting for him at three in the morning. He needed to embarrass him enough to get him off his lazy ass and to the door.

He inhaled, a grin spreading across his lips, fanglike teeth glinting in the pale moonlight. "SHIIIKA-KUUN! HOW COULD YOU? You give me the most PASSIONATE night of my life and you won't even see me now?" How can you treat a boy like this? You told me you loved me! Or was that just a ploy to get in my pants!?" he sobbed loudly, rattling the streetlights. Some of the lights in the nearby houses flickered on. He grinned behind his hands, still racking his body with loud, feigned sobs.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? Do you think some girl is going to give you better love than ME?!" he screeched, throwing his head back and covering his eyes with his arm. "Oh SHIKA! Do you think she's better than me? You know I give the best blo-"

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru's frowning face was shadowed by the moonlight and the lights of the surrounding houses who were trying to listen in on the conversation. Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Why hello Shikamaru, I need a place to stay."

His face grew even angrier.

"Why?" he asked, crossing his arms. Naruto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, a quirk that was quickly becoming nervous habit. He smiled gingerly.

"My-my house was condemned. I have to stay somewhere for about three days until I find a place of my own or a permanent roommate." He told him. Shikamaru's face softened, he granted Naruto one of his small smiles and stepped aside. Naruto grinned. He picked up his bag and walked in.

As soon as he walked in, his mouth dropped open.

The house was… empty. There was literally nothing in the house. No furniture, no pictures, no tools, nothing. Just one box in the far corner marked Clothes and a counter and small refrigerator in what he assumed was supposed to be the kitchen. Other than that, there was nothing on the hardwood floors, not even a rug.

Naruto placed his bag on the ground, "Are you um… moving in?" he asked, turning to the dark haired shinobi.

"Huh?" Shikamaru closed his door and turned to Naruto. "What? I've lived here for a year." He said, shaking his head in slight annoyance. Naruto looked around the house, confused, and then back at Shikamaru, who was staring at him with deep uninterest reflected in his dark, brooding eyes.

"Are you sure?" he mumbled, unable to stop himself from pressing the issue. Naruto wanted to know if anyone could be so lazy as to live in a home with nothing in it but their clothing. Where did he sleep? Did he shower? What the hell was going on?!

Shikamaru shook his head in annoyance. He wasn't going to deal with Naruto right now and he was making it quite clear. "I have a meeting in the morning with TenTen, okay?" he told him, locking the door with a stern-sounding click. "We have some business to attend to for Tsunade-Sama."

"Didn't you usually do that stuff with Temari-Chan?" he asked, confused. Shikamaru sighed and shook his head.

"Nah," He said, "That was because we were tying up our alliance with the Suna. Now she's busy with Sasuke." he explained, undoing his ponytail. His brown hair fell to his shoulders. He pulled off his Chuunin jacket and folded it. He walked over to the box of clothes and dropped it in. "I guess I should thank you for coming over. I forgot to take off my jacket since I got home yesterday." Naruto looked at him, "I guess I got too tired."

"Is that so?" Naruto asked, frowning. Could anyone be as lazy as Shikamaru Nara? Was there even a way to describe such a degree of lethargy? A sloth paled in comparison to the brown-haired shinobi. It was then that Naruto realized he'd never seen Shikamaru with his hair down, it was really beautiful. He could've starred in a shampoo commercial or something.

Shikamaru yawned and stretched. "Goodnight, Naruto." He said, laying down in the middle of the floor and folding his arms behind his head in a makeshift pillow. He closed his eyes and didn't say another word.

Naruto stared at him. Now what? Was he supposed to go to sleep on the floor with no futon or anything? What the hell was with this boy? Wasn't he taking indolence just a step too far? Well, as he felt his eyelids drooping and his vision going hazy, he was too tired to contemplate the mental workings of a languid Nara at this moment. He lay down on the hardwood floor next to Shikamaru, using his bag as a pillow and drifted into a well-needed sleep.

- 0 -

When Naruto woke, he found that it was late afternoon. The sun slated through the windows and across his face. He yawned, opening his eyes and pushing himself up. He looked around. Shikamaru was nowhere to be found.

Quietly, he stood up and fumbled over to the kitchen area. He opened the refrigerator clumsily in his drowsiness, looking for any form of sustenance to sooth his grumbling stomach. The fridge was empty, completely bare; there weren't even any shelves in it.

Naruto shook his head, he must still be sleepy. He closed the refrigerator door and rubbed his eyes thoroughly, hoping to brush the sleepiness from them. He reopened the refrigerator door, but again, there was nothing in it. It was simply a cold empty box posing as a fridge. Angrily, he slammed the door shut and decided to forget about his nagging hunger by taking a shower.

He walked into the bathroom, if you could call it that. There was a toilet with no seat, a roll of toilet paper sitting on the floor, and a shower curtain concealing; he found, merely a shower head and handle. There wasn't even any soap! Ew! Not even he was that nasty.

Regardless, he stripped and walked into the shower. He turned the nozzle and let the hot water wash over his aching body. This had been a shitty couple of weeks. He hoped his brief stay at Shikamaru's would be more delightful than his last three options. Naruto ran his fingers through his wet hair, slicking it away from his forehead. His thoughts drifted to Sakura.

It had been six months since he last saw her smiling face. Six long months of missing her voice, her eyes, her hair… he still loved her. He knew it, but he dismissed the thoughts as best he could. He knew that her feelings for Sasuke had evaporated when the Uchiha began dating Temari, but she still showed no interest in him as anything more than a friend and he wasn't going to push it. He didn't want to jeopardize what he had with his teammate. She was too important to him to risk losing her. Maybe he would ask someone else out, he was sure that his pervy-sennin could introduce him to at least one decent girl who didn't spend her evenings fishing bills out of her underwear.

He finished his shower, yawning and turning off the water, he exited the stall. He looked around, Oh shit! he thought, He didn't have a fucking towel! Shikamaru didn't have one goddamned towel in the entire bathroom.

Naruto frowned.

Fuck it! he thought. If Shikamaru wasn't going to provide towels, he was going to walk around his house dripping wet with his package flowing in the wind for Shikamaru to admire. Sure, it was spiteful, but how the fuck was he supposed to put up with a situation like this for his entire stay? A man had to have a dry sac, it was an unspoken rule… at least for him.

He yawned and opened the door. The steam billowed out around him as he exited the bathroom. "Why hello, Naruto-Kun." the voice that greeted him was not Shikamaru's.

"OMIGOD! TENTEN!" he attempted, miserably, to cover his shame. Shikamaru and TenTen were standing in his kitchen staring at him with wide eyes. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. TenTen covered her mouth and giggled visibly. Naruto could almost feel his confidence level plummet; he crossed his legs. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" he screamed, thrusting a finger at Shikamaru, "You don't have any goddamned towels you… you whore!" the insult was cheap and not very well aimed, but he was pantsless, he didn't expect much from his intellect.

Shikamaru shook his head. He went to his mission bag and pulled out a small cloth, tossing it at him. Naruto caught it with his other hand, once again revealing what he had been so desperately trying to cover. TenTen's eyes dropped south and the corner of her lip tweaked up in a slight smile.

"GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMNIT!" a string of profanity escaped Naruto's mouth as he clasped the cloth to his crotch, his cheeks growing as hot as the flames of hell itself. He scurried back into the bathroom, now sufficiently embarrassed.

- 0 -

Days passed and Naruto was beginning to lose it. He felt his sanity slipping away slowly as he lived in the empty house. His thoughts were so frazzled he found himself trying to make his bed when he woke or attempting to dry himself with an imaginary towel.  

TenTen visited often to work on things with Shikamaru. She was patient with him, like a good girlfriend would have been. But somehow, Naruto could tell her interest in him didn't extend beyond a working relationship.

She was almost motherly, pushing him gently to finish the work that had to be done. Tenderly jostling him awake when he dozed, using a stern tone to control him. Though she was not as loud as someone like, Ino, per se, would have been.

But three days after he arrived at the house, he snapped.

Naruto woke up on Wednesday with little thought in his head. He was becoming Shikamaru, in a way. He didn't give a shit about anything anymore. He rubbed his eyes and walked to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed at a nonexistent jug of milk. He tipped back his head and took a swig, not noticing the fact that there was nothing at all involved in any of it.

He trotted over to where his bed was and lay down on the floor. He folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He heard the toilet flush and looked up as Shikamaru walked out of the bathroom, and Naruto was positive that he saw him drying his hands on a pretend towel.

WHAT THE FUCK!?

When Shikamaru went over to the kitchen and began to adjust his invisible items Naruto could have sworn that he saw the faint outline of actual objects. He couldn't take it. He jumped up and went over to the eating area. Wrapping his fingers around the region where a table would be, he threw his arms up with fury. A strangled yell escaped him. "ARRGHHH!" the scream was the only sound to be heard in the small apartment, though in his head, Naruto heard the crash of the table hitting the hardwood floor.

Shikamaru stared at him with complete disbelief reflected in his dull eyes. "Did… did you just flip my imaginary table?" he stuttered over the question, before his eyes grew irritated. It was a rare sight to see the languid shinobi with any anger in his eyes. It was pale, barely visible, but powerful. "NARUTO!" he cried, exasperatedly. "This place is a MESS!" he told him, gesturing to the empty floor.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Naruto screamed, towering over Shikamaru's voice in volume, his fury growing with each syllable. "THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE! NOTHING!" he yelled, tears appearing at the corners of his cerulean eyes, mirroring his feeling of disarray.

"Anyone home?" TenTen's singsong voice rang throughout the small apartment. She closed the door behind her and took off her sandals. She turned to find Shikamaru and Naruto staring at the ground. "Oh my gosh," TenTen muttered, placing her fingers in front of her mouth in surprise. "Shikamaru, this place is amess!" she exclaimed, astonished.

"I know," Shikamaru barked, "Naruto flipped my imaginary table like a jackass!" he told her. His voice grew sterner than Naruto had ever heard it, but it didn't deter him for a split-second. He matched the tone and increased his volume to drown out Shikamaru.

"YOU'RE INSANE!" he screeched, "THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE!" he bellowed, his voice shaking dust from the ceiling. Shikamaru's annoyed facial expression didn't falter, he looked at Naruto as if he were the one living in the empty house.

"What are you talking about?" TenTen asked, tipping her head to the side. "There's plenty in here."  

Naruto let out another animalistic yell and snatched his bag from the floor. He wrenched the front door open and walked out onto the porch. He grabbed the door handle and turned to face the two dumbstruck people in the house. "THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME STAY!" he screamed, making his thanks sound more like a death threat. And with that, he promptly slammed the door shut with such force; he thought he might have broken the frame.

Shikamaru and TenTen watched Naruto stumble down the street like a drunk, crashing into things and swearing profusely, TenTen turned to Shikamaru after Naruto was out of sight. "He snapped quicker than I thought he would." she whispered, crossing her pink-sleeves over her chest. "Where is all your stuff anyway?"

"Chouji has it," Shikamaru told her, "I'll pick it all up tomorrow." He yawned, brushing the back of his hand over his mouth to stifle the sound.

- 0 -

Naruto buried his head in his arms. He was inIchiraku at the counter; he didn't notice the people sitting next to him at the bar. There were two brunettes sat on either side of him and a blonde at the far end. He didn't notice a single thing. He didn't care.
He finished his first ramen and grabbed his glass of water. He tossed his head back and chugged it with force, "Can I have another ramen?" he asked the owner of Ichiraku, who nodded. "And make it with egg this time, okay?" Naruto added, and instantly the bowl was slid across the counter to him. He began to slurp it steadily, a feeling of uneasiness overtaking him.

Suddenly, he groaned, slamming his fist down on the counter. "Where can I go?" he asked no one in particular, slurping his ramen with a sense of abandon.

Naruto wished that the ramen wasn't the cause of his problems. He wished he hadn't left it out for those stupid animals to get to. He didn't even remember doing it, but still, no matter the preceding circumstance, ramen still proved to be the only thing that soothed his charred nerves.

"You need a place to stay?" a woman's voice attracted his attentions to the end of the bar.

Ino Yamanaka was seated on the stool farthest to the right, sipping on a tropical looking drink in a martini glass. She looked very elegant in a purple summer dress with a thin halter top with a slit showing a generous amount of leg. Her hair was swept up in a high ponytail tied with a satiny tie around her blonde locks. He was shocked by her appearance. He'd never thought of it before, but Ino was really gorgeous. His thoughts quickly returned to what she had said.

"Yeah," He told her, raking his fingers through his blonde hair. "My house was condemned and I haven't found any place that's permanent. I could use a roommate, at least until I save enough to put a down payment on a place of my own." Naruto looked up at her, flashing her a pathetic smile.

Ino found herself sympathetic, a rarity. He was looking at her like a sad stray puppy that she just had to take home. Not to mention that the fact that the years had been good to him! In his tight fitted black tee shirt, Ino could see the definition of a gorgeously well-defined stomach that she longed to run her fingers across. She wanted him in her house, the closer, the better, right?

"Stay with me," she offered, beaming at him. "I want to apologize for all those years I was cruel to you. Stay with me free of charge." the shock registered in Naruto's head with the sparkle of Ino's incredible smile. Naruto's eyes glided over her pert breasts and sensual hips. He didn't think he'd have a problem staying with someone as darling as her.

"O-okay…" he murmured, he spoke before his brain knew how to say the words. His libido was greatly overriding any logic he might have had left. Naruto's mind filled with possible situations he might find himself in with the magnificent blonde. She extracted a bill from the small plum shaded purse slung over her shoulder and placed a tip on the counter.

Naruto didn't think as he allowed the strong blonde woman to take him by the hand and lead him from the ramen shop.